One Gift at a Time

                                                                    I want to let life come

                                                           One moment at a time

                                                                       One gratitude at a time

                                                            Not a list of a 1000 gifts

     Not a quota to fulfill

Not forcing my eyes to see beauty in every passing thing,

       But open and waiting to see the gift that God reveals.

I want a life surrendered 

to whatever may come

His gifts to me this day

And maybe the same tomorrow

One moment at a time

One gift at a time

An Ordinary Life -- Selah

Sometimes life feels mundane.

Ordinary.

Busy but not fulfilling. 

Bare.

Winter reminds me that new life is not always seen on the outside, 

but comes quietly from soaking in the nutrients hidden beneath.

The bare branch says,

Sink into it. 

Live in its simplicity. 

This is the gift of a contemplative life.

Humbled by the barrenness

only to discover hidden beneath 

gifts of grace

from the One 

who beckons the bud.

To learn more about this series, please visit SELAH.

Savor the New Year One Moment at a Time -- Selah

When I was a little girl, I loved to go to my grandma's house. She would let me roam her house creating imaginary worlds with the help of her high heels and costume jewelry. She loved to prepare me my favorite foods -- her homemade mac 'n cheese was amazing! And she always sang me to sleep with her lullabies long past the age when I thought I needed them. Most of all, she seemed to treasure the laughter, the hugs, and even the messes.

I had not thought about her home for years. My Mimi passed away over 20 years ago. But the other night, my family was driving back home after visiting relatives. As we came over the pass in the dark of night, we drove down the Conejo Grade into the valley sparkling with lights from all who lived in the many cities and towns below.

In the quiet car, I enjoyed the view of twinkling lights below and felt a familiar feeling of simple joy. I then remembered my Mimi's house. 

I was a little girl again nestled behind a chair in her living room and looking out the bay window as the sun set over San Francisco East Bay. I loved to sit and watch the sun paint the sky ablaze with color before it rested for the night. I would then sit quietly and wait for the sky to go dark and the cityscape to become a spectacular display of twinkling lights. Even as a young child I would sit still, not moving from my chosen spot, so as not miss a single drop of beauty.

I would linger there until I felt it was time to leave. I never seemed to rush or hurry up the moment. I sat poised in the quiet and enjoyed it completely.

Somewhere along the way, I learned to stop savoring the moment and all its beauty. I really don't know when or why. But the childlike wonder of enjoying a moment of beauty got pushed aside for hurrying on with life. I am learning to discover it again. 

For me, the simple act of savoring the moment is deeply connected to my own spiritual growth. When I am not present in my life, I am not present to God's presence in my life. 

Another name for savoring the moment is the spiritual practice of contemplation. When I first heard the phrase, I only pictured monks in monasteries sitting in gardens in silence. But I have since discovered that it is a spiritual practice that helps us enjoy God's presence in the midst of our day, especially for those of us who have busy lives far from the walls of a monastery! For me, contemplation is much like enjoying a sunset with someone you love. Sitting in silence together and enjoying its beauty. 

Contemplation kept my soul from freezing during the long winter of waiting for a baby to fill my empty arms. After years and years of praying for my heart's desire, I grew so tired of praying. And then I read, When the Soul Listen by Jan Johnson. For the first time in my life, I began to learn about how I could be quiet with God and simply enjoy His presence. I discovered that prayer could be so much more than talking. It is also listening. And it is even silence. Contemplation became a gift that showed me how to enjoy the silence and rest in God's loving presence.

 

That brief moment on the drive home this week was a reminder that I want to be more aware of God's presence in my life. And when I stop and savor the life he has given me, I am more able to enjoy His presence in it. 

Happy 2012!  Enjoy savoring it . . . one moment at a time!

Gratitude - Selah

To learn more about this series, please visit SELAH.

I bought fuji apples today. I buy apples twice a week. My kids love them. I love them. But today was different. I cut open my apple and found MITSU, the honey spot in a fuji apple. I just stared at it. My daughter had no idea why I was grinning. I said, "Mitsu! Mitsu in my apple. I can't believe it!"

For those who follow my blog, you know I wrote about mitsu a few days ago. I haven't seen it in an apple for years. I was so excited! Mitsu always reminds me of Japan.

Today, all these memories from Japan came rushing back to me. But the one that stood out was my first Sunday in Japan after arriving from the States. I was 23 years old. After attending the worship service at Sakai International Bible Chapel (a city outside of Osaka) where I would go every Sunday for next two years, the ladies gathered in the small kitchen to prepare green tea and snacks. Today was special because someone had brought a box of 16 big beautiful fuji apples each individually wrapped in a protective holder. One apple probably cost the equivalent of five U.S. dollars or more. (That was two decades ago!) It was November and the perfect time to celebrate the gift of these beautiful apples with everyone.

I was asked to help prepare the apples. When I cut the first one open, I noticed some darker color inside and began to remove it and then throw it in the wastebasket. All of a sudden, several women were talking in animated voices and telling me something in Japanese. I now know they were probably saying, "MITSU DESU!" One of the women then said in English, "This is apple's honey. It is the sweetest part! Don't put in gomi (garbage)."

I thought about this memory today. It was my first taste of culture shock with many more to come over the next four years I lived in Japan. But what struck me today as I remembered that event was how I didn't recognize the mitsu. I had to be in another culture to even discover that it existed and then recognize that it was the best part.

Yesterday, I wrote about waiting. About how I had to learn to live in gratitude while I waited. This memory in Japan is a picture to me of that journey. Sometimes I miss what is beautiful in my life because I can't see it. Sometimes I need to be shown where to look.

Gratitude is also a spiritual discipline. Some people write out a short gratitude list every evening. I don't do that, but I do like to write a list regularly in my journal. I do it because I find that gratitude helps me to live one day at a time. I can't be thankful for something tomorrow. It hasn't happened yet. I can only be grateful for what is here today.

Today I want to pause and really live in gratitude....For the things I can't buy or collect or obtain by my own effort. Today, the mitsu in my apple at lunch is at the top of my list. I may share my list tomorrow.

How do you practice gratitude?

(We just found our second mitsu of the day! So fun!)

Selah: Practicing His Presence

To learn more about this series, please visit SELAH.

Through the years, I have gravitated toward the spiritual disciplines practiced for centuries by those who follow the teachings of Jesus. At first, I was intimidated to learn about them because they sounded too arduous. I now realize I didn't understand their purpose. Since then, I have found the disciplines to be wonderful gifts that help me connect with God throughout my day and experience His presence within my every day life.

Most recently, I have enjoyed the discipline called  Practicing His Presence*. There are many ways to do this, but I find that I need a tangible reminder to actually do it while I live life. I use a scented candle that I can light any time during the day to help me practice this discipline. For me, the candle is a visual reminder that Jesus is ever-present in my life and that he said, "I am the light of the world (kosmos)." After a while, I may forget the candle is lit, but the scent fills the room. When its fragrance gently touches my senses, it reminds me to pause and remember that God is with me. Sometimes the pause turns into a prayer of gratitude. Sometimes I lift up a request for help. Sometimes I ask for forgiveness for unkind words recently spoken. Sometimes I just need to enjoy its light and God's presence when it feels like chaos around me. 

I took a picture of the candle on our dining table in the middle of the day last week. It captured life happening around it. It was a day that ended with temper tantrums. A day I lost my patience. The candle is not magical. It doesn't make the day go perfectly. It doesn't make me act more "holy" or my kids behave better. But it does help me to stop and remember that God is with me. It helps me worship God, who I believe, entered this life and experienced the same things we experience. A life filled with work, exhaustion, laughter, tears, dirty dishes, laundry, frustration, love, and cranky people. 

One night last week when the candle was lit on the table, God reminded me to ask my son if he wanted a "do-over"... A chance to go back to when we called him to dinner before all the wrong choices started. He didn't want it. We told him that even mom and dad use "do-overs" with each other. We just say, "Can we start the day over again?" Some days, we just need a "do-over."

I wish that lighting a candle made my days go smoothly and my relationships easy. It doesn't. I light it because I need a physical reminder to stop and listen to God. I light it because I want to be a woman who acknowledges she needs God's help and wants to learn to worship Him with her every day life.

I light the candle because I know He longs to show me how.

*Practicing the presence of God is a way of life where we engage in continual conversation with God; walk with Him in love, humility, simplicity, and faith; and do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him, because that is God's will for us.